SHE RECOGNIZED ME
Her husband came to our hotel, and
took us to Her
to their home.
I had not seen her for several years.
My heart was pounding
I was nervous, worried and excited
In the car
I did not know what to say
what to ask, or
how to open the conversation about her
about any thing.
I was happy that I was about to see her
but
I was also overwhelmed
with a sad feeling
a sadness which was hard to describe.
As we entered the house
she looked at me
I could see
in her eyes
that she had recognized me.
She kept looking
at me and my husband,
but she uttered no words
She couldn't.
Her husband brought a paper pad and a pen
She wrote our names
and kissed them
But, no words were uttered!
I could not stop crying
and
asking myself
asking everyone
Why? Why? Why?
Alas! Alas!
no one could really answer
I had known her practically all my life
She was ten years old when I was born
She was my mother's first cousin.
She said
she fell in love with me
the day I was-born.
and
She kept to play an important role
in my life, and
to occupy
a very special place
in my heart.
She played the role of
a very kind, interesting and loving aunt
to me.
She loved me very very much
She took me out
brought me gifts
saved beautiful dresses for me
including my school uniform
which made me to become
the envy of my friends
She braided my long hair
and
put beautiful and colorful
ribbons in it
and she helped me with my schoolwork.
When I returned from
my year-long educational trip
from England, she became a good,
very very good
friend to me
She became
my BEST Friend.
We would go shopping together
or sometimes
would sit together
for hours and hours
and just talk
I don't remember what we talked about
but
I remember I always felt GREAT
after these
talk sessions
There was
nothing in the world
that I could not discuss
with her
Sometimes
it was like
we would become
ONE.
She was
so sweet
and loving
and
helpful
and
understanding.
When
at 21 years of age
I decided to get married
I would discuss with her
about matters, issues, excitements, concerns, anxieties
and everything else
in relation to my decision
and
I was so amazed
that she always had time for me
as much time as I needed or wanted.
and this was while she was married
had a teenage son from her first marriage
and a second son from her second marriage
and was extremely busy.
Also, she was working full-time, and
had many many responsibilities.
But, she always
HAD TIME FOR ME
There wag nothing that
I would hesitate
to talk to her about.
And, she would talk to me about herself;
but, she would never say anything sad.
Only the Happy memories
were those that she would talk about.
When I was planning my wedding
she went everywhere with me
and helped me select my dress, my shoes, my tailor, my hairdresser...
etc., etc., etc.
She helped me
in each and every way that I wanted or needed.
At the wedding
SHE vas Sooo HAPPY for me!
In a few years,
she gave birth to her third son
Now she had three handsome sons.
Also by a few years later
I had given birth to our twin daughters
and later to our son.
In both of these happy events
she was beside me and with me
She was Sooo loving, Sooo helpful, Sooo wonderful
not only in the hospital
but , also before and after that
Throughout the years which followed
we became even closer.
Her husband and mine liked to sit together and chat
and, we did the same thing.
Their children and ours played together.
We often would visit each other's homes, or
go to picnics, movies, etc.
In family gathering,
we enjoyed each other’s company
as well as the company of other relatives and friends.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Then both families moved to the United States.
We lived in the same city for six years, and
continued to do things together and have a good time.
Then, due to professional as well as family reasons
my-family and I moved to a neighboring state
and were expecting then to move too,
But suddenly (or maybe gradually)
things changed
SHE changed.
---------------------------------------------------------
Let me explain;
All these years she had been strong, determined, bard-working, smart, and
active both professionally and socially
She had also, almost always seemed to be
a joyful, happy and sociable person.
A few times, I had thought to myself that
it was like she was always trying to run away
from the sad and the bad and the negative.
It was like she had been
practically negating the sad, the bad and the negative.
But, now she had given up her resistance.
Throughout her life she had lost:
her mother when she was five years old
her father when she was fifteen
her first husband (due to an unsuccessful surgery)
when she was twenty years old
and her aunt when she was in her thirties.
After moving to the United States
she lost many many friends and relatives
to events (in the old country)
She had also lost an earned pension
and much more!!
She had had to also endure such hardship
both emotionally and from the material point of view.
Yet, throughout the years
she had always been the strong one.
She had been:
a great mother and grandmother
a loving wife
a sociable, talkative and active member of the society
a great relative
a wonderful friend to many individuals
She bad been:
an excellent cook
a wonderful baker of cookies cakes., breads, etc,
What she baked and cooked was' the tastiest one could imagine,
She had been:
a neat dress-maker.
a weaver with a lot of imagination
an excellent needle worker
a painter
a decorator
a wonderful letter writer and a lover of poetry
a muli-talented, beautiful, graceful and lovely woman
And: the most gracious hostess.
But NOW:
she was nobody
she was tired
tired of not resting for decades
tired of life's cruelties
tired of persevering and 1osing and of losing and persevering
what a vicious circle,
She couldn't take it any more.
She had to give up
She had decided to singly QUIT!!?
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WHAT A GREAT LOSS TO ME AND TO ALL OF US
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But, she had recognized my husband and I.
Wben the next day we went to visit her again
she put her arm around me and kissed my cheeks.
I could see that she was talking to me
with her loving eyes.
But, she could not utter a word.
They say it is Alzheimer's disease;
which has turned that vivacious, lively, talkative, sociable,
friendly and beautiful woman into this fragile and frail
frame,
But, to me at she is still my BEST PRIEND: my Bahi-Joon
Tahirih Khodadoust Foroughi
Glendale. Arizona
May 9, 199